My head aches from all the thinking I’ve been doing over the holidays.

I wrote a letter to my lawyer today with all my wishes in the settlement department.

Since she has absolutely no sense of humor I left off the choking him until he’s unconscious and not in the sex way.

Besides everyone has told me that since she charges so much, each joke probably costs me 30 bucks. I should learn to speak to her in twitter -speak, b/c instead of because etc.

I’ve also gotten a few suggestions to change the name of my blog from 67anddumped to “67 and finding the new me”  or some such shit.

Not gonna happen.

Being dumped at 67 will not define me but it will always be a part of me.

It has begun an important and unexpected chapter either for good or bad and I have no choice but to own it and move forward.

I know I am both looking forward to and fearing what comes next. I also know that I’m happier than I would have been if it had never happened.

Except for my sisters dying, this is by far the worst thing that ever happened to me in my life and that includes sneezing and farting at the same time in the second grade in front of Richard Sheslow and David Gillis during Assembly and believe me that was no picnic.

By the way, I also hate the term “define me”.

My new year’s eve activities:

Liz and David got their evening cancelled at the last minute because their friend Ian’s son got sick.

Since those plans were no more, rather than cook we went out to our favorite new chinese restaurant next door, Land of Plenty. We really had fun.

Although I intended to pay for myself, Liz forced David to pay for me which he reluctantly agreed to do at first but then became a real mensch when we got there. He just told the waiter “We’re not going to order, just surprise us”.

I’m not sure I’d order owl or turkey beaks cooked in fig newtons again but it did make the evening memorable. And snake for dessert can’t be beat.

Of course he did have to fake a recurrence of his back pain after hearing that the first restaurant we picked  was charging $46 for a chop.

The thing I love about him is that he accepts himself totally. When Liz and I accused him of faking it he just laughed. You can’t hurt this guy’s feelings.

Anyway we were in really good spirits when we got home. Both Liz and I had more to drink than we should have and we both wanted to go right to bed.

David was in a real happy mood and was begging us to continue the party with some champagne. He kept insisting that even if I passed out on the way home (One door down) no one would mind if I slept it off on the floor in the hall until morning.

Anyway I went home. In very good spirits. Until..

I got an email from dave saying “Happy New Year. I truly wish you a good new year. dave”

I ran right back to Liz and David’s house. I have to admit it made me cry.

I could give a million reasons why. It’s impersonal, any contact with him is painful. he’s spending his new years eve with her, it sounded like a final good bye. Whatever.

I sat around with Liz and David feeling sorry for me for awhile and then I went home. As I was leaving David said to me. “If you get sad, come back”. Actually he slurred it but the sweet thought was there. ( He hates if I write anything nice about him)

After I got home I started thinking, poor dave, he was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. He knew writing to me was a risk but if he let the new year begin without a word he would be deemed a heartless prick.

Nothing he could have written short of begging me to take him back would have been greeted kindly and though he probably doesn’t know it, that wouldn’t have been so good either.

Anyway the evening started on a happy note and ended a little sadly for me UNTIL…

A few minutes before midnight my phone rang and it was Lew Soloff wishing me a happy new year and telling me he loves me.

I went to sleep with a smile on my face.