172. Two people walk into a bar. One says to the other, “I’ll love and protect you for life…April Fool”

He came over. He kept postponing his arrival so by the time he got here I wasn’t as nervous, although my hands were shaking.

He must have been uncomfortable too because he had the doorman call the home he lived in for 36 years before he came up.

It was so strange dealing with him. The stranger with the face of my best friend”

He was my husband but he wasn’t. I immediately got into my usual role of taking care of him. He gave me some money and I gave him some of it back.  Even now I don’t know why.

Now I see why lawyers do this. It’s too emotional.

When we talked about the boat I said I want nothing to do with it. He can have it. He said what if it’s sold?

I hesitated. “My reaction is to say just keep it , it’s yours but I don’t want to be a fool”

He said “You would be a fool if you don’t protect yourself. Have the agreement say that if I sell the boat we split the money”

We discussed the house. After about a minute I gave in. I figured he’d never give it to me anyway.

We would split the house, the expenses and the income.

The rest of the stuff was pretty much 50/50.

Since even he agreed that I was more reliable than he is, I will receive the money and deposit his share in his account.

As he was leaving he took the stance he always takes when he has something on his mind.

“I want you to know that I am so sorry for what I’ve done to you”

My eyes filled with tears.

Then he added “But it was necessary”

Those tears dried up immediately.

“Why do you always have to add that?” he just shook his head and walked to the door.

I wish he had started the meeting with that. I’d still have the house.

“I’ll be seeing you” he mumbled

“I hope not” I said and I walked away leaving him by the elevator.

During the night I woke up in a panic when I realized that if he dies before we sell the house that I would own it with her. I sent him an email saying if he dies I want his half of the house.

He agreed.

One other thing. About an hour after he left I got an email from my lawyer saying “Whatever you do don’t agree to give him part of the house”


Back to real life. Liz and David came back last night from Sante Fe visiting Liz’s family.

On Sunday I sent an email to both of them. The Subject was “I hope you understand”

The email said:

dave and the woman have no place to stay tonight.

They’re leaving for Japan at 6 am.

There’s no way I can bear them sleeping in my house so I told them they can sleep on your couch.

It’s only for one night and I think he’ll be more agreable with the settlement if I help them.

Do you have sheets for the couch or should I use mine?


No sooner had I sent it then I got an email from David saying “Are you fucking kidding?”

and the phone rang.

It was Liz.

“Did you get my email?”

“Yes, I did. I wish you hadn’t sent it to David too. He’s going to go nuts. Are you saying that dave and his girlfriend will be staying on the 18th floor with you just across the hall?”

“Yes. I didn’t know how to say no”

“Mattie I will give you money for a hotel for them. You cannot do that”

“Liz, what’s today?”


“And what’s the date?”

“April 1”

“And what’s April 1?”
She thought for a minute and then screamed …..”Fuck you!!!” and then she started laughing uncontrollingly

(Liz never curses and she will kill me for quoting her but truth is my middle name. It’s Joan too but I use Truth mostly”)

This is an example of how they’ve both acted since the day I found out that my marriage was over.

I want to say publicly that I am so lucky to have Liz and David as friends (yes David, you’re my friend).

They made this whole period bearable and I will be eternally grateful.

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