The french lady down the hall wanted me to meet her mother who is visiting from, I guess, France. When introduced, her mother said “Enchante”
That beat out my “pleased ta meetcha” by a mile.
I think I’m going to be saying that french thing from now on.
I haven’t had much to say in the past few days because no one would find my going to the dentist very interesting even though I actually tried to talk him into looking at my teeth without touching them.
Now that I think of it, that might just be one more nail in my crazy coffin.
I was talking to Julie about a fabulous present that Stephanie is giving to her husband for their anniversary. I can’t tell you what it is because he won’t get it until tomorrow and you all know how mean Stephanie can be if you screw something up that she has planned.
Julie was asking me when was the last time I got a present that absolutely floored me. I thought for awhile and then I remembered that many years ago we had company for dinner and Dave (he was capital ‘D’ then) passed a box with a necklace in it down to me. It was beautiful and he picked it out himself. I was so proud in front of my friends.
Julie said “Was that the time with the tube socks?”
That brought to mind the most awkward gift exchange ever.
It was before we were married. dave was working for James Brown and he had what, at that time, was plenty of money.
He bought me diamond studs for Christmas. I knew I was getting them so I decided to make a Christmas Eve party so he could present them with a flourish. Even now I say “What was I thinking?”.
But it gets worse. I figured how would it look for dave to give me such a fabulous present with no one else receiving gifts?
So I bought gifts for all my guests. Tube socks for the boys and jacks for the girls.
The party was pretty lousy to begin with.
Everyone was just sitting around not talking that much.
At about 10 p.m. I realized that these people weren’t going to hang around until midnight for the holiday to begin so I decided to announce the opening of the presents.
Everyone started opening their lame-o gifts while I, the hostess, opened my diamond earrings and showed them around for everyone to ooh and aah about.
One more aspect I never even thought of was that once 2 guys opened their identically wrapped tube socks, the mystery was pretty much gone for the others.
I still remember my friend Cynthia, slumped on my couch wearing sunglasses, looking over at the girl across from her opening up her jacks, and just throwing her package on the coffee table unopened.
My friends were not badly brought up. I’m sure they thanked me for the gifts. I only wish I could remember what they said after thank you?
“How’d you know I needed socks without heels?”