Today my agent, Lisa, asked me to read 2 snooty books.
She clearly doesn’t know what every other person in my family knows. That I only read dumb people’s books and only watch dumb movies and tv shows.
There is no reality show that I don’t adore.
I know things about the personal lives of celebrities that would stun and amaze folks that waste their time watching CNN.
I used to go to a video store owned by Iranian Jews.
When they’d recommend a movie I’d say, “Does it have a happy ending? Cause if not I ain’t interested.”.
They knew my taste so well that once when I went in there with Julie to pick up a movie, much to Julie’s shame, the guy held up a video and said “You’ll like this. It’s stupid”
My sister Iris couldn’t stand this about me. She’d say “You’re so smart, how can you read such shit”.
Well clearly I’m not that smart and I use my brains for more important things like, well I can’t think of anything important right now but I’m sure there’s something that needs thinking about and I’ll do it when I get a chance.