I just got an email from David. He’s on another business trip.
It said :
“Just wrote you an email but deleted it before I pushed send. It was a
tasteless diatribe describing a plane load of blind people I just
observed getting off a plane. As you know I like to set the “what will
surely offend most people” bar pretty low. This one however on quick
reflection didn’t even come close.
As you pointed out with reference to my disdain of people pleasuring
themselves in public, I do have some standards.”
I can’t for the life of me figure what he could have written that finally touched his sensibility nerve, something I never thought he had, considering that the last email he sent me praising the efficiency of the guy cutting off people’s heads didn’t bother him at all.
I cringe to think of what he might have said about the blind people.
Even though he assured Liz that he would no longer send me anything upsetting, when I get a web site from him telling me to check it out, I never never go to it.
I learned long ago that the word “trust” isn’t in his vocabulary.
When I was my most vulnerable, right after dave broke the news to me that he had a girlfriend, I found a disgusting letter from his inamorata that discussed in detail all the things she wanted to lick on him and vice versa .
I couldn’t read it but I showed it to Liz whose only advice was “Don’t let David see this. He’ll read it aloud and torture you with it.”
A few days later David spent the night in the hospital. I don’t remember if it was a broken foot or heart palpitations or what but whatever it was, he was looking very pale and pathetic in his bathrobe sitting in his living room.
Liz was at work and I was keeping him company.
Somehow the letter came up. He asked to see it.
“No” I said “Liz warned me that you would read it aloud and tease me about it. I don’t want to know the details of what it says”
He had a hurt look on his face and said “I would never do that. I know how hard this all is on you. I promise I’ll just read it and not discuss it.”
“I don’t believe you”
“I give you my word. You can trust me”
I kind of felt sorry for him because of what he had been through and I thought it would cheer him up so I finally got the letter and handed it to him, “Remember, you promised”
He took the letter and started reading it. At first he was silent then he burst out laughing and started reading it aloud.
“YOU PROMISED!” I screamed
Again he gave me a surprised look “Clearly I was lying”
When I told Liz on him all she said was ” What were you thinking?”