220. Shouldn’t a good friend tell you if you have a banana in your ear?

Remember this morning I was sad?

Well I’m not sad any more but I am becoming nuttier and nuttier.

I decided to meet my friend Susan for lunch. She thought I needed cheering up. We were to meet on 14th Street and 6th Avenue.  That’s one downtown bus and one crosstown bus (thanks dave for taking cabs out of my life.)

I get to the Lexington Avenue bus and realize that I didn’t have my bus pass. I was pretty sure I mailed it with the 3 bills I put in the mailbox but just to make sure I ran home. I emptied out my pocketbook and couldn’t find it. I kept looking and finally found it in my bedroom.

I rushed back to the bus stop and began my trip. Some fatso was screaming at an old lady for getting in line in front of her but I’ll save that for another day.

I finally get to the restaurant and Susan and I order. I wanted to pay because Susan paid for me last time but she wouldn’t hear of it so I agreed to split it.

We asked for the check and I went to take out my credit card and my wallet was missing. I was sure I had it on the bus. I figured it must have fallen out or that angry fat bitch stole it.

My wallet had everything in it. All my credit cards, my license, my medicare card, checks. I was really sad.

Anyway Susan had to pay for me again.

We go back to my apartment  by cab because I was so distraught and when we got there I found my wallet on my dining room table. It seems that when I emptied my pocketbook I forgot to put it back in.

Much relieved Susan and I went into my bedroom to watch Dr. Phil or something when after about 1/2 hour I was forced to tell Susan that she was useless as a friend.

If she were any good at all she would have noticed that my blouse was on inside out all day.

11 thoughts on “220. Shouldn’t a good friend tell you if you have a banana in your ear?

  1. You’ve probably done it a dozen times. It’s a family thing. So if Susan didn’t tell you this one time, it really is no big deal.

  2. Wow, that’s like a trifecta of spaced-outness. Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone, and for making me smile. Your Fan, Felicia

  3. First of all, don’t you know it is good luck to have your clothes on inside out by mistake and second of all……you’re killin’ me! Mattie, I’m on your side!!!! The blogs are very entertaining, unfortunately at your expense but I appreciate your sense of humor which is probably saving you right now. I miss you and wish I could be there to pal around with.

    PS My grandmother (who lived to be almost 101 yrs) would never have let me change my blouse back to the right side.

  4. Hi! I am Susan’s cousin Arna. Loved this blog.
    Actually, Susan would not only say nothing about a banana in your ear, or the way you dress, or what you eat. She’s one of those rare people who knows how to love unconditionally. How lucky are we, those who are in her circle of friends and family.

  5. just look at it this way. you didn’t lose your bus pass, you didn’t lose your wallet you got a free lunch, & you have a nice clean shirt to wear another day. to me that’s a winner.

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