The weekend is before me.
Miss Liz, David and Rupert are going to the Hamptons.
What to do? What to do?
Today’s pretty busy. I have to try and amuse Violet while Julie has her hair done. I find that any joke with the word poop in it works wonderfully well. Violet is nothing if not a purist.
Then I’m thinking of going though my apartment and throwing away anything that I don’t need. Wires from long dead electronics come to mind plus solidified spices, empty boxes, cold pill bottles with one pill in them, wedding albums. You know, stuff I don’t need.
Remember I spoke about the boring conversation I overheard the other day. When something is perfect I truly admire it no matter what it is.
Yesterday my niece forwarded a letter to me from someone she works on a committee with. I won’t tell you which niece but and because it’s the one I’m afraid of.
The letter was criticizing Steph, er I mean Jane Doe for being unkind to her at a meeting and calling her names. The letter continued on insulting and and threatening Jane. Excluding the errors in grammar and spelling it was still almost a perfect letter in it’s stupidity.
It brought to mind a letter that I’ve kept on my bulletin board above my desk since 4/19/91. I’ve always considered it a beautiful painting where you see something new each time you read it.
It was from Bill, the male receptionist that worked for dave’s copyist and man of all talents Emile Charlap. Emile has what has always been known as a one stop music office. He makes arrangers, producers and copyists welcome so that when they get work Emile can get done for them whatever needs doing. For many years any big time music jobs went through Emile’s office.
I called the office . I was in a real state because while walking our dogs my sister fell down and broke her leg. This right after she had completed chemotherapy. I wanted to talk to dave but this guy Bill kept joking and not putting dave on no matter how much I insisted.
A few days later I got the following letter. IN ALL CAPS.
OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS OF WORKING IN EMILE’S OFFICE I HAVE TAKEN ENDLESS MESSAGES, WROTE LETTERS, TAKEN FAXES, CALLED MESSENGERS AND DONE MANY MANY OTHER FAVORS FOR DAVE. 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 THESE FAVORS HAVE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH BUSINESS RELATED TO EMILE’S OFFICE. BUT I DON’T MIND IN THE LEAST DOING THESE FAVORS FOR DAVE. IN FACT I FIND IT EXCITING & REWARDING (HOWEVER MUNDANE THE CHORES) TO BE INVOLVED IN HELPING A MUSICIAN THE CALIBER OF DAVE. I FIND HIS TALENT AMAZING IN ITS DEPTH , SCOPE & VARIETY.
ALSO OVER THE PAST 2 YEARS THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A CROSS WORD BETWEEN DAVE & MYSELF OR YOU & MYSELF. OUR RELATIONS HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT CORDIAL AND JOVIAL. NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS SHOCKED, SURPRISED, & DEEPLY HURT WHEN YOU CALLED ME AN “INCREDIBLE ASSHOLE”. IF THERE IS SOMETHING YOU WANT CHANGED IN THE STYLE OR SUBSTANCE OF THE WAY I EXECUTE THESE ENDLESS FAVORS I DO FOR YOU OR DAVE YOU CAN JUST COMMUNICATE IT IN A FRANK NON-INSULTING MANNER. I WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO ACCOMMODATE YOUR WISHES TO THE VERY BEST OF MY ABILITY.
I AM WILLING TO FORGIVE & FORGET THIS UNPLEASANT INCIDENT ALTHOUGH AN APOLOGY FROM YOU WOULD NOT BE REJECTED OR INAPPROPRIATE. I TRUST THIS WAS JUST AN ISOLATED DISCORD IN AN OTHERWISE HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIP.
Needless to say, this letter is not one of the things I’m going to throw away. It still sings.
A “keeper” for sure…..IT IS PERFECTION!
If your weekend is too boring, you can come on down to Florida and ride out Isaac with my wife and I. Just think, if dave’s boat is in the keys Isaac may sink it this weekend or Monday, that’s cause enough for a party by itself 🙂
I’m packing now. Start making those conch fritters.
I NEVER get tired of this one! I think you need to publish some of your award-winning missives! Burt and Loni, anyone?
It’s says a lot about our friendship that we both have read this letter more than once.
It’s a gift that keeps on giving.