This is a scary time.

All kind of decisions have to be made.

I have financial stuff to think about. I have professional stuff to think about. I have emotional stuff to think about. That’s what I miss most about being married. When you don’t feel like thinking you can have someone else think for you.

dave and I had a deal that I really miss. If either of us had to make a phone call that gave us the willies we could ask the other one to do it.

There were some rules. We couldn’t ask it out of laziness. It had to be real willies.

Since I’m scared all the time he had to do it for me much more frequently than I had to do it for him but he needed it sometimes too. And when he needed it, he really needed it.

For example he just asked me to find out how he can get a home equity loan.

I gave him the first snotty answer to one of his requests in a long time.

I said “Why don’t you ask your new woman to do it for you?”

His answer “Yeah right”

Why doesn’t he ask all the people he’s in touch with instead of me for help?

Anyway I’m going to help him if I can. (Shut up everyone)

I have a dentist appointment today so as usual I’m jittery. I never like anyone looking at me closely because I’m sure they’ll find something terminal.

I also have to call my lawyer.

I wish dave was here so he could call for me.