You know how I always say I don’t know anyone like David? Well listen to this.
My niece, Randy’s daughter Alexandra and her husband came for the weekend.
I love Alex so much and though I don’t know that much about him, her husband Dan is really sweet and they seem to love each other plenty.
We all went out to dinner last night and afterwards Alex said that Dan really wanted to watch the football game so he was going to go to a sports bar and have a few beers so he can watch the game.
I mentioned that it was too bad that David hadn’t returned from his business trip yet (he was expected any time) because I’m sure he’d be glad to let him watch with him.
Dan said ” I’m so disappointed that he’s not here. I was dying to meet him”
I wasn’t that surprised by that because really the first thing anyone asks me is “Is David really like that?” so I said “I’ll text him and see when he’s coming home”
That’s when it happened.
Alex said “Tell him that Dan voted for Bush twice”.
In my family?
No sooner had I gotten this shocking information when David called asking me to go into his house and pause the football game because he was on his way home. On shaking knees I did as he asked.
He soon returned home and Noodles peed right next to his suitcase (information that he is only receiving now if he’s reading this) and Dan came back from the bar to watch the game with his new best friend.
I felt like I was on Mars.
Dan and David were chatting away like long lost brothers. I even heard Dan say that Alex was probably the first Jew he ever met.
David proceeded to regale us with all the Jews he knew “personally”. He even liked a lot of them and respected all of them because they’re “so good with money”.
I was still trying to wrap my mind around this this morning. Alex tried to comfort me by saying it wasn’t my fault and that no one could blame me for the Republican thing because it was through marriage.
David came over this morning and said that for the first time he met someone in my family who wasn’t a left wing commie.
Once again, life as I knew it no longer existed.