It’s my second day here with the animals.

I figured I’d get up at 4 am since there were 3 dogs and a cat standing on my chest anyway.

You can’t just let them out. You have to stand outside with them yelling so if there are any coyotes around they will think twice before eating any of my brood.

I know they are capable of doing that because  the day I got here the dogs brought in a deer leg that they had found on the grass. You read it right, a whole leg. No deer attached.

And if I wasn’t nervous enough, Shelby, the creative genius who does the incredible drawings for this blog came over yesterday and said ” Aren’t you nervous being alone here? The place is so isolated. Feel free to call me any time of the day or night. I can be here in three minutes” She thought for a second and said  “maybe four”.

I’m thinking “4 minutes, just enough time for some maniac to gut and skin me.”

Plus the cat must figure that I’m not that strict a disciplinarian because  even though he’s not allowed up there, he spends his days on the kitchen counters and every time I pass him he jumps on my neck.  I thought it was cute when I saw him do it to Steph’s husband Terry but I gotta say it scares the crap out of me.

But the house is gorgeous. My nephew Terry is an amazing architect and the house has just been totally renovated. It has beautiful grounds, a fabulous kitchen, artistic stone walls done by a real craftsman, and each bathroom is a work of art. I already told you about the talking toilet.

Without cable you can take the whole place and shove it up your ass.