How has divorce, well my coming divorce, changed me?

One way is that I never think of marriages as permanent any more. Sorry Kim, the chances of you growing old with Kanye? Almost nil.

If I knew then what I know now would I have married dave? There were times while I was married that I wondered if I would have been better off marrying a Jewish guy and living in the suburbs with kids.

While I was dating dave my mother gave my number to the son of one of her friends and I went out with him. I never defied my mother until I actually married dave.

He was nice looking, funny and familiar. We both really liked each other and had it been a different time we would have continued dating. I had to tell him that unfortunately I was seeing someone that I was pretty sure I was in love with.

He understood why I went out with him anyway since his mother had made him call me. That’s pretty much how the Jewish Mother Mafia worked.

He wrote his phone number on my calendar and said to call him if it didn’t work out with dave.

Some of my friends are going through separations and divorces now. I’m listening to what their marriages were like and I can’t imagine how they lived like that. These were really unhappy homes. One wonders how they lasted as long as they did.

Mine was never like that. I lived a good life. We laughed a lot and dave always treated me with respect. He took care of me financially and made me feel loved until he didn’t. The show business part of our life was fun and exciting.

Would I have married him if I knew what was in store for me? Yes I would. But remember I’m talking about our relationship from my point of view. I’m sure he’d say differently.

Knowing what I know would I have left him before he left me while I was still young enough to find someone else. Maybe but I don’t think so. I was really bored for the last 7 or 8 years but I loved him and wouldn’t have been able to hurt him.

I just realized that I’m forgetting that I would have known in this scenario that he was going to leave me so that doesn’t hold true. I might have been too scared even with that information. Maybe I would have squirreled away some dough and looked for a boyfriend. Yeah that’s probably what I would do. I feel better now.

Remember when I told you about that guy who wrote his phone number on my calendar? The year was 1975. The year I got married. I’m a saver. I have stuff from my high school prom and the first LP I ever bought (Elvis). I’m sure I have that calendar saved somewhere.

Maybe I should dig it up and give that dude a call. After all it didn’t work out with dave, did it?