I feel like I was put on this earth to make the people I care about feel better when they’re upset.
“Your sister in law is crazy. Why wouldn’t you wear peddle pushers to a Bar Mitzvah?”
“No, your house doesn’t smell like dog piss”
“No one heard you fart. With that Muzak you can’t hear anything in an elevator”
“I not only pee when I sneeze. I frequently vomit.”
Today I got a tough one. My friend Ronnie called me from her car and asked me if I had ever driven with the “check engine light” on for any length of time.
I had to examine the pros and cons of my answer.
1. Her mechanic is in New Jersey.
2. She is leaving for Texas tomorrow to visit her brother.
3. She and I had plans for lunch (this was a big one)
I know it’s one thing to make someone feel better after the fact but it’s when the truth will prevent them from getting in trouble? What to do? What to do?
“Ignore it. It’s just a suggestion. Mine’s on all the time. If you’re near a gas station in the next month or two have them give it a gander.”
When her car breaks down on the way to the airport tomorrow I’ll tell her it wasn’t her fault. They should have said “No kidding, you really should check your engine light.”