396. Fidelity is for suckers

First of all I want to tell you that after over 500 images Shelby McChord is taking the summer off from doing the drawings for this blog. You people will just have to endure my whining without the frills.

Shelby is not only an incredible artist, she’s a funny, creative soul who shines light on all her relationships.

Have a wonderful summer, Shelby.

Now back to me.

I never thought you could Jew down Bloomingdales but I just did. You should note that I didn’t even use my go to pity deal that my husband divorced  me after 38 years of marriage.

All I did was say that I thought the sheets I was buying were on sale and got a little teary and voila she put them on sale. I saved $50. I think I’ll go back and buy a couch.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.

I think that when you get married you should always keep your options open.

Say your husband cheats once and is then is sorry.

If you love him you should take him back but never again let yourself be caught unawares.

Pretend you forgive and have forgotten but from that time on look for someone else. Someone to keep in a box if or when your husband falls back into his old ways.

I don’t want to hear from all you moral know it alls.  My plan is foolproof.

First of all you’ve got something for a rainy day and knowing this will make you way more pleasant to be around.

No one takes a cheating husband back without devoting a good part of their life punishing him.

If you do what I say, you’ll feel guilty. I don’t know about you but I’m much nicer if I feel guilty than I am if I feel self righteous

Now the guy in the box doesn’t have to be terrific. He doesn’t even have to be as good as your mate. He just has to be better than nothing which is what you’ll have if fuckface goes back to his old ways.

Oh yeah and you should be hiding money.

I’m just sorry that I don’t have a daughter to pass my bon mots down to but lucky for youse, I have a blog.

 

5 thoughts on “396. Fidelity is for suckers

  1. Best advice ever!! I have given that advice many times and will continue to do so even though people around me gasp in horror when they hear me say it.

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