That’s right, all you freeloaders. Yahoo is actually paying me money to write stuff. You can see my first article at Yahoo travel.
I’m not going to say what they are paying me per word but I’m getting what all big time writers get paid. In fact I have it on good authority that my pay scale is almost identical to Charles Dickens’.
Yep I’ll be traveling all over flashing my Yahoo Travel badge (I assume they’ll give me a badge) so I get special treatment.
Maybe I should get a lorgnette, you know those eye glasses on a stick. That way they’ll know I’m fancy and when I go to a hotel they’ll give me extra shampoo.
I’m really excited about this.
I wonder if they’re gonna expect me to go to snooty places like operas? No can do.
Here’s the deal. If you want to know the happ’nin’ spots that will broaden you intellectually I ain’t your guy, but if you are looking for some sights that will be easy on the knees and still sells refrigerator magnets worth putting in your kitchen, that’s me.
Now on to my eyebrows.
I read that one of the things that make you look older is pale eyebrows.
Now that I’m a paid writer I owe it to my fans to look good which is why I had my eyebrows professionally dyed yesterday.
I must say I was very pleased with the result. I practiced several expressions in the mirror and noted how much more effective they were with these dark eyebrows. I did angry, then perplexed, then pensive. I’d like to say which was the best but they were all sterling.
I pretty much forgot about them until Julie and Violet arrived for dinner.
When I came to the door Julie looked at me and said “Your face looks different” and then she bent over hysterically laughing. I do mean hysterical too. If my living room had aisles, she’d have been rolling in them.
“What are you laughing at? My eyebrows?”
She’s not a mean girl and I could see she was trying to pull herself together but she just couldn’t. Every time she tried to say something comforting I would change my expression and she’d be back at it.
Finally, well into the meal, she gave me some half assed explanation for her laughter. While keeping her eyes well above my head she told me that she just got frightened when she saw me.
How that was supposed to make me feel better I don’t know.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll “Yahoo travel” over to the place I got my eyebrows done and ask if they can erase them.