Thanksgiving is over. It’s Saturday and the last of my guests have gone home. I miss them already.

I had 21 people and 4 dogs for the festivities on Thanksgiving day itself.  My nephew Brian, his wife Cheryl, their 2 girls Sadie and Lily and their dog Bert came on Tuesday and stayed until about an hour ago.

Here’s a picture of Sadie and Lily saying good bye to their little cousin.

Ray wasn’t really happy to have Bert but they mostly got along ok.  Brian asked me to keep Ray in my room at night because he’d crawl into bed with the girls and wake them up.

I tried, I really tried but Ray is so clever that he found a way out each night.

They didn’t believe that I was trying my best to keep him in because they were basing it on the fact that their dog is dumb as a box of rocks.

My dog got through 2 doors but if you put a feather in a doorway Bert would consider that an impenetrable barrier.

I had just about had it with them acting like Bert was some kind of hero dog while suggesting that my dog was a trouble maker.

Luckily I was able to take a video of him showing his true colors. Bert followed me into David and Liz’s house when I went to check the turkey. While he was there he spotted Rupert’s pillow and when I came out of the kitchen caught him flipping Rupert’s pillow in the air and humping it. ( This blog doesn’t allow videos so if you want to catch him acting out you’ll have to go to my Facebook page)

If you’re wondering why I was making a turkey in David’s house it was because with 21 people I needed 2 turkeys. I cooked one in my house and one in his. I was a little nervous about cooking in his h0use because he’s so nasty but I had no choice and besides I was thinking “What could go wrong?”

David had left at 4 am so his house was in a little disarray. I tidied up as best I could and then began cooking. I’m pretty sure that when I put things in order in his entrance hall there were 2 shoes on the floor.

Unfortunately when I cleaned up after Thanksgiving I only saw one shoe.

David called after Thanksgiving to wish me a happy holiday (I’m sure that’s why he called even though he didn’t actually say the words) and to ask me to tape 2 football games.

As long as I had him on the phone I decided to ask a few questions shoe related to see if I was worried for no reason.

“When you buy shoes, how many do you buy?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like for example if you see some Merrill’s in a store window and you like them. When you purchase them do you buy one or two?”

“Just tape the games. I have to go”

No information there.

I’ll go over to his house and check again but I’m thinking fuckin’ Bert took it.

He’s so stupid he probably didn’t even know that he’d need 4 of them to finish off his outfit.