840. The Queen of Mean

This day is not starting out well.

I wake up to the news that Suge Knight was arrested for murder. Oh Suge, I thought you were keeping your nose clean since I think it was only a few months ago you got shot and got a blood clot.

But who am I to talk?

My friend Ernie used to say that I was both the nicest and meanest person he ever met. It’s true too.

I can be very very mean. For example if someone is rude to me in a store I aim to say something so mean that they will think about it when they get home that night. Something like (in a sweet voice) “I know you feel bad that you’re in this dead end job and you’ll never do any better than you’re doing right now and even you know you should have gone to a real salon to get your hair cut so I’m not at all mad at you for being in a bad mood”

Interestingly I never feel bad after something like that but that’s not always the case when I do something nice.

Yesterday the marina where dave keeps his boat called.

He had asked them to clean the boat in preparation to his arrival with his new wife.

It seems that they didn’t have the combination to get inside and they couldn’t reach him because he’s in Japan and since it was the middle of the night he wouldn’t be getting his email.

Of course, unless he changed it, which I could never see happening, I knew it.

I thought for a minute. What do I give a shit if they get there and the inside of the boat was all dirty and mildewy? That bitch was going to be screwing my husband on my Charisma sheets and cooking sushi in my pots. (I know I know you don’t cook sushi but I’m steamed)

But I gave them the code. It’s 8826 in case any of you Florida people want to go over there and rob them or even push them around.

I did say that I was divorced from dave so this wasn’t the right number to reach him.

The woman apologized and asked if she should remove the number from their books and at first I said yes but then I said just leave it in case of emergency.

This would fall under a kind act but did I feel good about it? The answer is no. I felt like a sap.

I felt much better when I told that woman that her haircut stunk.

6 thoughts on “840. The Queen of Mean

  1. Well, I think that you have subliminally thought this through. After you have given out the code on your blog, common sense dictates that the code will be changed immediately! Right?

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