My sweet niece Cheryl is visiting.

She and I  have somewhat of a routine.

During the day she has meetings and stuff (she’s a famous writer) but our evenings are pretty much the same.

1. Cocktails

2. Dinner, usually out

3. Pj’s

4. Download a movie.(We used to watch the Bravo shows that I had taped but she’s gotten so snotty that we don’t do that any more)

Number 4 is the hard one. Cheryl and I get comfortable in the 2 lounge chairs in front of my TV and then the negotiations begin.

I will say that when she first started coming here it was “Whatever you want Aunt Mattie”. Now we fight to defend our choices (Me= intellectual documentaries; Cheryl=anything with blood and guts)

Last night we were scrolling through the selections, nah, nah, nah. Nothing seemed right. We began again.

When we got to “50 Shades of Grey” there was a pause. Neither one of us gave it a nah.

“Did you see it?”

“No, you?”

“No”

Me, “You don’t think it would be uncomfortable watching this together?”

Cheryl “I don’t think it’s that explicit. I’m pretty sure it has a PG rating”

“Okay, let’s try it. We can turn it off or cover our eyes if it gives us the willies.”

It was a go.

Ar first our comments were very Siskel and Ebert.

Cheryl “He’s really cute but kind of wooden”

Me,”I got no problem with wooden”

Then Anastasia and Christian start getting more “involved”.

I was giggling nervously and glanced over at Cheryl. She was checking her email. She looked over at me.

“It’s kind of boring”

I’m thinking what kind of animals are my niece and nephew if this is boring to her?

But it wasn’t long before “boring” was a distant memory even to her.

“Holy Shit!” and “What the hell?” and “How did her parents let her do this?” (this only because we know who her parents are. If she was any other actress that wouldn’t have come up)

I have to say that this was the nakedest nakedness I’ve ever seen. She wasn’t even wearing a barrette.

Needless to say we watched the whole thing and to reaffirm that we were indeed true film buffs and not just pathetic voyeurs, we also viewed the “Making of the Film” documentary at the end.

I only have one comment.

How come no wieners?