The other day I was minding my own business and feeling all excited to be getting ready to visit Liz in Santa Fe. Even though it was a week away  I was beginning to select some cute outfits to pack.

Should I take the black or would the black be more appropriate?

My happiness was knocked for a loop when I got my mail and saw a letter from the IRS.

I don’t know about you guys but this kind of thing terrifies me. The IRS never writes to tell me I looked good the other day.

I opened it expecting to find a drawing of a noose inside (When I was single my father sent me $100 a month towards my rent and each month he inserted a drawing of a noose or a heart with a knife in it and blood dripping down or some kind of blood sucker. He was generous but snarky. I wish I had saved all those notes. I guess it being Father’s Day made me think of it.)

Back to my tragedy.

This year I had to pay estimated taxes, which I did. One check to the Feds and one to the State of New York.

The letter said that the check they received was addressed to the State and they were forwarding it to them.

I immediately looked at my bank statement and was relieved to see that though the State check hadn’t been cashed yet the Federal check had.

I’ll cut to the chase. When I called the Feds they had no record of the Federal check having been received.

It was clear that when my man Obama erroneously got the state of new york check, not being a fucking crook prick he forwarded it to the correct recipient.

When nys got a check NOT ADDRESSED TO THEM THEY DEPOSITED IT IN THEIR OWN ACCOUNT.

You may note that I have put new york state in that same category as someone else who let me down. NO CAPITAL LETTERS FOR THEM!

No sooner had the guy from the IRS given me that information when I started sobbing. “I was being so careful. I checked the addresses over and over and then I put the checks in the wrong envelope”

“That can happen. It’s not serious. It’ll be fine” the poor guy was trying to think of something to make me stop crying, which I eventually did.

Yadda yadda yadda,I called my accountant who said there’s nothing I can do except pay the Feds again and wait until an eternity to get the overpayment back from the state of new shitbomb.

Now why am I telling you this? Because you give the state a finger and they take an arm.

It is for that reason I wish to eliminate states rights and make our government some kind of King or Queen thing.

That way all the states have to be the same. If the King/Queen says anyone can get married. It becomes law. Of course there are people that will fight it like that politician who says he’ll set himself on fire if gays get married which is reason enough to pass the law.

Also no guns. If you have a gun you get bitch slapped in front of your friends.

I know there are some wrinkles I’ll have to iron out but I’m committed.

And get that confederate flag down. The King thinks it’s stupid.