I haven’t spoken to you for awhile because I was on line outside a shoe store buying a pair of Yeezys.

So where was I?

David? Well nothing much has changed with him except that he’s made a friend, a girl, that he seems to like as much as me.

He wants me to talk to her on the phone but that’s not going to happen because:   1. His list of what I can’t say is as long as your arm and 2. I don’t talk to strangers which is why I never go to parties and 3. She lives in Texas which is the asshole of America.

Oh and David voted for Trump so I probably won’t be talking to him much longer either.

Let me tell you about November.

Every November my nephew Eric or Yitzhak comes to New York from Israel to go to his mother’s, my sister’s grave for her Yartzeit, to pray and just say hello to her.This usually happens early in the month.

Then later in the month I make Thanksgiving.

Yitzhak sometimes brings a kid with him. Last year a bunch of his kids came. I call them kids but they are mothers and fathers.  My sister Marcia and some of the other American relatives came down to see them and it was wonderful.

We all got really close and have texted and emailed and face booked.

Why am I telling you this?

I just got a call from Yitzhak that my sister’s Yartzeit will be 3 days before Thanksgiving this year so maybe we can all celebrate together.

My first reaction was, how can we do this. The Israelis are strictly Kosher. They won’t use our plates or eat our food.

And where will everyone sleep?

Then it occurred to me. Who gives a shit about Thanksgiving? I never make turkey anyway. I bring in indian food.

And this family has spent too much time on different sides of the world to not take advantage of any chance we have to all be together.

So on or about Thanksgiving 2016 the Smith family will all be eating matzoh and kosher pizza and whatever slop we can come up with plus we’ll have a million blow up mattresses filled with people we love.