983. Woe is me

You people know I’m not a complainer.

Well I am but today was the worst day of my life.

I know what you’re saying.

“You’ve lost family members.”

“Your husband got a girlfriend and left you when you were already wrinkled”

“You thought you’d look good in the new blouse you bought”

I can’t name all the sorrow I’ve suffered

And don’t think I don’t take all that into consideration but…..

Let me start at the beginning.

As I might have mentioned I am ambivalent about getting another dog.

I am feeling very free to do whatever I want which is stupid since I never do anything but if something comes up I can do it.

But and it’s a big but I miss something furry to hug and kiss.

I was staring at the wall yesterday trying to decide whether to wear my Hillary tee shirt or my sequin gown when Julie called.

“Did you see my text?”


“Look at it.”

It was a picture of the best looking smiling dachshund ever.  She was under 10 pounds and she was in a kill shelter in Brooklyn.

I didn’t have to think twice (well i did but let’s forget that ) “Let’s get her”

Julie rushed over and we jumped in the car to begin the thousand mile drive to the asshole of Brooklyn .

On the way Julie got a text from the pound that she was still available.

My lips were pursed all the way ready for kissing.

I also practiced saying “Yvonne, that’s what I’d name her, let’s go out and stretch our legs” Get it? She’s got short legs.

With the traffic and everything it took us forever to get there. We arrived  and rushed inside only to be told that she was adopted 20 minutes before.

We slowly walked out with our eyes wet and our heads bowed.

Sure, we told each other, we’re glad she found a home, but why oh why wasn’t it with us?

It took us even longer to get home and it wasn’t a pleasant ride. We were bemoaning (the only word I could think of) over and over.

All I had to eat, other than my lunch before I left, were some old gummy bears that were in my glove compartment for emergencies.

If this wasn’t one than the word “emergency” has no meaning.

There was so much traffic that we didn’t get to Julie’s house until dinner time. Since I was planning to eat dinner there we spent hours looking for a space only finding one several blocks away.

As we were limping to Julie’s house, her with her fucked up foot and me with my … whatever, I noticed a space right across the street from her house.

The gods were laughing at us.

I wish I could write a happy ending for this story.

Wait! The dinner was good.

I had pie.

2 thoughts on “983. Woe is me

  1. Don’t worry you’ll find another dog. I dated a women once who had 2 dachshunds and they were horrible and mean little creatures

  2. Well it sounds like you made a decision to get another dog …. Lucky dog … whoever he or she (or “they” … I’m being hip … not suggesting that you get 2 dogs) may be

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