As most of you know my friend David now lives in Texas.
When he lived across the hall from me I thought he was unique because I never knew anyone like him.
And I did like that he’d buy me bagels even if he did throw them a my door screaming something in German.
As I’ve told you before he’s a gun toting republican who feels that every minority doesn’t mind being called a derogatory nickname because … I don’t know what his reason is but he’s always permitted me to berate him daily for being a shit head.
With the election of trump I had a hard time talking to him because I realized he wasn’t unique at all.
But since he didn’t vote for trump and he strongly believes in gun control (mostly for those minorities I spoke of) and truly has a live and let live attitude about most things we’ve gotten close again.
He even met Debbie when he was in New York recently. and although he had nothing good to say about her he did let her sit next to him.
I guess he was relieved she had stopped trying to bite his balls.
Anyway David is constantly saying that my blog is beyond boring because all I talk about is my dog and my family.
He insists I should write about him again.
Why? I don’t know since I almost never say anything nice about him.
In order to curry my blog favor he’s constantly telling me stuff in his life that he thinks I may be interested in.
For example every single time he meets a Jew he calls me. That makes 2 phone calls. Texas isn’t exactly overflowing with Jews.
He thinks that erases the numerous times he’s explained to me that it’s a compliment when he refers to Jews as cheap because it only says they’re good with money.
So here’s his latest foray into liberalism.
He met 2 lesbians in a bar. According to him they wanted him to 1. be a sperm donor and 2. have a threesome.
He called me last night wanting to know why I didn’t write a hilarious post about this.
“Because it’s not funny”
“Are you crazy??? It’s hysterical”
“Look I’ve met funny lesbians as well as funny straight people. I don’t think just BEING a lesbian is funny or not funny.”
“But they want a threesome.”
“That just says they aren’t choosy. It says nothing about them being funny”
“So what are you going to do? Write another boring blog about your horrible vicious dog?”
Here’s where Debbie sits when we watch TV.
You left out the funniest part…..the act of one of them (the cute one) being allowed to “violate” me as a condition to the threesome….I said that I’d have to get back to them on that point!!
I love Debbie more than air. Please do not stop writing about her. And, there can never be enough pictures of her. When you write about David it makes me yawn.
You must really lead an exciting life
Yes, I do.
I enjoy your blog, whatever you choose to write about, including initial-cap David. Debbie looks so much better than she did when she arrived, though she is keeping a fierce and adoring eye on you so you don’t get away. P.S. I love your striped leggings.
She’s certainly fatter. I adore her too
Every adoring life match is a very good thing. xo.