1002. So I have this dog

I look at Instagram and there’s movie after movie of Ann Leary teaching this shitty looking dog to dance, do her laundry and play the violin and I can’t even stop Debbie from licking my teeth

The people Debbie likes she likes.  Most of them unless they decide to stand up or go to the bathroom.

Since she’s , how you say, a biter, I was lucky enough to have my friend Carol keep her during the wedding.

Julie had a beautiful new dress and blood stains from her guests, not Julie who can do no wrong as far as Deb is concerned, would not add to the festivities.

Carol bought Debbie back when most people had left and only family remained.

Much to my surprise my dog acted like a little angel. She was either walking around or sitting next to people on the couch.

She did seem to take to my new niece Cori until Cori made the amateur mistake of giving me a hug good bye.

Luckily Cori is from Iowa where I believe they have no sue laws. She took the small amount of blood like a trooper. She didn’t mention making another visit though. I guess she forgot.

The cold weather is coming soon and Debbie gets very chilly so I’ve been looking for clothes for her.

You know trying to make her look attractive.

I live on the east side of Manhattan. I went into a local dog store and asked about a small down jacket. I was told it was $75.

Since that was ridiculous I looked at just a sweater. Get this. It was cashmere and $240.

The whole dog was free!!! I wouldn’t buy a couch for $240.

I spent yesterday with Julie doing all our little tasks.  I found Debbie some wonderful outfits in TJMaxx, none more than $12.99.

Here they are.coats

As soon as Debbie saw them she ran and hid.

I was only able to catch her and put one coat on her.


Doesn’t she look happy?

Here’s what I’m dreading.

In a few weeks my Israeli family is coming to visit.

Sometime before then I’m going to have to get a backbone and teach Debbie not to attack them.

Any suggestions?




10 thoughts on “1002. So I have this dog

  1. have them carry kibbles of her fave treat in their pockets and share frequently. especially before and after interpersonal endearments.

  2. Send a couple of your t-shirts to your Israeli family and have them put the shirts in their suitcases. That way the family will smell like you and Debbie won’t freak at them. Also, please make sure that each of them is carrying a slice of bologna in their pockets at all times. Remember, Cesar Millan says dogs learn via: 1. Nose, 2. Eyes, Ears. In fact, have Cesar over to dinner before the Israeli contingent gets here!

  3. A super-fast dog trainer? That’s all I got. Hope everyone survives. (The wedding, and its locale, looked glorious. Well done you.)

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