I am assuming that all of you are incredibly curious about what my life was before I became famous.

Maybe not famous. Maybe looked up to.

Not so much looked up to as having my doorman calling me by my first name.

Well there is a new guy who calls me 18A but he’s only part time.

Anyway.

I was a social worker in the South Bronx for 11 years.

As I was and am very beautiful you can imagine that that was not easy.

However I was actually quite good at it.

I once stopped a gang fight.

It wasn’t like now with machine guns and bazookas.

These kids only had chains and knives.

I got in between them and and if I may, “speechified”.

You see I wasn’t in that much danger because I knew most of their mothers.

I began with  the importance of using your words and moved on to choosing your battles.

By the time I got to “In the great words of…” about 40 minutes later most of them had wandered off.

I had actually bored them out fighting.

A skill I have honed into perfection.

That wasn’t my first choice of a career.

I wanted to be a cop but I thought I might have to run so I put that on my back burner.

Who would have thought that I’d become a marvelously successful lyricist ?

Of course most of my songs were recorded in Japan by people who couldn’t speak english so I could have written “I’m in love with my shoe” and I would have been just as successful.

Now that I think of it I wasn’t that successful.

That’s a bummer.

I guess I’ll just go to Zen