I am assuming that all of you are incredibly curious about what my life was before I became famous.
Maybe not famous. Maybe looked up to.
Not so much looked up to as having my doorman calling me by my first name.
Well there is a new guy who calls me 18A but he’s only part time.
I was a social worker in the South Bronx for 11 years.
As I was and am very beautiful you can imagine that that was not easy.
However I was actually quite good at it.
I once stopped a gang fight.
It wasn’t like now with machine guns and bazookas.
These kids only had chains and knives.
I got in between them and and if I may, “speechified”.
You see I wasn’t in that much danger because I knew most of their mothers.
I began with the importance of using your words and moved on to choosing your battles.
By the time I got to “In the great words of…” about 40 minutes later most of them had wandered off.
I had actually bored them out fighting.
A skill I have honed into perfection.
That wasn’t my first choice of a career.
I wanted to be a cop but I thought I might have to run so I put that on my back burner.
Who would have thought that I’d become a marvelously successful lyricist ?
Of course most of my songs were recorded in Japan by people who couldn’t speak english so I could have written “I’m in love with my shoe” and I would have been just as successful.
Now that I think of it I wasn’t that successful.
That’s a bummer.
I guess I’ll just go to Zen