274. For some strange reason the good Lord decided not to give me any children

Yitzhak left for Israel last night not really knowing what he’d find.

He’s brave. I know I wouldn’t be so philosophical about the whole thing. I’d be crying and hiding under my bed. Luckily the whole world isn’t made up of people like me.

Hey maybe it isn’t so lucky. I never even punched anyone. The world might be better off if everyone was scared to fight.

Anyway back to me.

I’m getting ready to host the family for Thanksgiving. One by one they’re dropping out though. It may end up being a small family dinner rather than the hoards that usually come each year.

That’s not so bad for me but Violet, Julie’s girl, will bust a gut.

She looooves her cousins who aren’t coming and couldn’t care less about any of the grown ups.  Julie was not looking forward to telling her so Gail, @thetoughcookie suggested I tell her. Now this woman has met me so I was a bit puzzled by this but then I figured that my sweetness shined through and maybe she was right.

I decided to break the news via a knock knock joke.

I”m much nicer to kids than I used to be.

I remember lying on my sister Iris’ bed when her two youngest daughters Stephanie and Laura came in. Steph was about 9 and Laura was 7ish.

I had a little time on my hands so for the goof I said I would give a dollar to whoever is taller.

Laura’s mouth flew open at the injustice of it. “I’m the tallest one in my class”

“I’m not giving a buck to the tallest in their class”

Her little eyes welled up with tears. “But but she’s 2 years older than I am”

“Well eat your veggies and maybe by next year you’ll grow taller than her and you’ll be able to win the dollar. Of course next year I may give a dollar to whoever is shortest.”

I’m much nicer now.

Now let’s see “knock knock. Who’s going to have a real shitty Thanksgiving?”

2 thoughts on “274. For some strange reason the good Lord decided not to give me any children

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