Now where was I?
Oh yes, in my last post I was telling you all about the fabulous women that David is meeting in Houston.
His most recent relationship ended because he is was way too moral to date someone with a husband and 3 kids.
I think that was the reason or was it that she wouldn’t put out. I’m not sure.
Anyway I nagged him to join Match.com.
No sooner had he signed his name on the dotted line when he was contacted by a woman who he described as I said in my last post as “smokin'”.
She said she was a 52 year old geologist who graduated from U Cal Berkley. She lives in Houston but she was from South Africa where she was on a work project but would be back in Texas in 2 weeks. Here’s her picture.
I thought she was really pretty and David was clearly smitten. They spoke on the phone and he was bragging that she told him to join this internet phone service so that they could speak for free.
He even suggested I “get into the 21st century” and join it too.
Now cut to Passover in my house. We’re all sitting around praying our hearts out when I get an email from David that he got another picture from her.
“Send it along” I say. And here comes this one….
followed by this one.
My 16 year old niece, Lily looks at the picture and says “This is from the internet and they aren’t even the same woman”
And I write back to David “She’s showing her tits! There are tits in that picture”.
At which point David agreed that a rat was smelled. But instead of cutting the relationship off he suggests to her that he’s having romantic feelings (Hence the title of this piece) and asks for more pictures. The man is a jerk.
I won’t bore you but the next one was a naked full frontal and when she felt that she had been too subtle she followed it with a picture clearly taken at the gynecologist’s office.
In between the photo display she spoke of a hot deal she was into, you know a geology deal (see hard hat photo sans tits). Luckily for David she was willing to let him in on the ground floor for only $9,000.
I have been insisting that David report this to Match.com and he promises he will but only after he tells her that he has a better deal for her for only $12,000 but he needs it within a day and it must be a wire transfer.
The summation of this whole thing is that David is still an idiot.
Now on to me. Continuing on the Romance theme, I was walking Ray the other day and a construction worker looked up from his sandwich and noticed the young sexy girl walking in front of me.
“Hey Sweetie, howya doing? Have a great day”. She continued walking without saying anything.
When I got up to him, without a smile, I said “You’d better say hello to me too”
“Hi Honey” he said “Have a great day”
I have to work a little harder but clearly I still got it.
You are the F-ing BEST!!!!
You always had it and you’ll NEVER lose it! ♥♥♥
I just love your writing, and your attitude. You rock!
I just love that you said that
Thanks for making me laugh out loud today. Hope your day is as fabulous as you are Mattie xo
Love to you Paula
If she’s 52, then I’m only 25. 🙂 Can you say “cat-fishing”, boys & girls?
You got it.