You haven’t been hearing from me lately because I’m in such a funk over the political situation I just can’t bring myself to write.
That fucker doesn’t even give me a minute to pull myself together.
Today they eliminated a law keeping nuts from buying guns? Now how do they justify that?
STOP IT MATTIE!
My blog is supposed to lift people up even when I’m down.
So now I’m going to write about the constructive things I’ve been doing and will do during this situation. Everything will be noted in a positive tone.
I’m seeing my family.
A few weeks ago my little niece and her boyfriend came to visit. Here they are.
Now I could be writing about how young, good-looking and in love they are while I am alone and have one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel but no.
Instead I will say that I used this time with them by sharing some of my wisdom. I gave them numerous lectures on abstention and if they ignore that I listed, with diagrams, the terrible diseases one can get from having sex willy nilly.
When they mentioned that they do drink beer at college I took my niece aside and advised her of my time honored rule to only drink enough to get a buzz but not so much that you take out your tits, something that I learned the hard way which resulted in my no longer being allowed in any Olive Garden east of Newark.
And just this morning I got a call from AARP and Senator Schumer telling me that the Senator is truly worried that the republicans will alter Medicare so that I will have to use all my money for my crazy pills and whatever doomsday illness I will probably get.
Did I let that get me down?
Well to be honest for a while it did but my “can do” attitude jumped to the forefront.
I climbed out from under my bed and immediate drew up a list of requests I’d put on my “Go Fund Me” page.
1. My Chanel lipsticks cost about $39 a piece. And they don’t last that long.
You may think this is not a necessity but I feel I have to look attractive in order to try and find another meal ticket since my last one ran away to Japan.
2. Oh yeah I’m also going to need some cash for one of those ‘swinging singles’ get togethers. You know they don’t offer open bars at those things. Not a lot of cash. Remember my drinking rule, enough for a buzz.
I’m going to keep working on this list. I’ll let you know how it progresses.
You guys keep an eye out for it when it’s finished and don’t be chinzy when you donate.
And if any of you have an uncle or a grandfather with some moola, keep me in mind. It will help if the old guy is either blind or has sleep apnea.
The crap I have to put on my nose at bedtime isn’t for everyone.
Thanks Mattie. You’ve given me the strength to go on. Please mention Ray in your next post. He’s one of the reasons I get up in the morning (instead of early afternoon).
This is the Mattie I know and adore.
Oh, we can reply to these things? Olive Garden don’t know what they’re missing!
Mattie, despite being a gunowner i am strongly in favor of not allowing the following to purchase a gun….lunnies ( or as call them nuts), retrards, children, felons and persons on a no fly list.
I don’t support private citizens owning military type ordinance. nobody needs a 30 round banana clip to hunt dear…if they do they need some serious marksmanship lessons before taking to the field!
See folks he isn’t all bad. ….Well he is.
Glad I’m on the other side of the world where we don’t have to get upset listening to the news. Let’s go drinking when I get back and drown our sorrows over our czar!
Sent from my iPhone
You made my day so happy.