Susan and I had dinner with an old friend last night. Daisy Martinez from the cooking show,”Daisy Cooks”. If you’ve ever had empanadas at my house , I got the recipe from Daisy.

Actually if you’ve ever had empanadas at my house you were in the wrong house because I never made anything that tricky.

I hadn’t seen Daisy in about 10 years except on TV. I was unhappy to note that she looks more beautiful today than the last time I saw her. If it wasn’t for that I’d have been really glad to reconnect with her because she’s a laugh a minute.

This morning David came to my door with a request.

He said that he needed me to put some chicken that he left out to thaw in the refrigerator at around noon. Since, as he says, he hates to be indebted to me for anything because then I feel free to stick to him like gum on a shoe, he brought me a piece of his homemade meatloaf.

He does make the best meatloaf I ever ate, as opposed to the rest of his hillbilly fare, which invariably has the word “pone” in it’s name.

I keep hearing from people that think I’m in Santa Fe.  I’m not going until next month. I’m sure I’ll write about it when I go.

On the way there there is a 2 hour wait in one of those funny states before boarding our second plane to our final destination and David has told me that he will let me go with him to the fancy first class lounge .

I’m going to load my pockets with all the free eats they have there so I won’t need to get room service or use the mini bar when I get to my hotel.  Sounds like a plan.

There will be a Memorial Service for Liz’s mom, Nan in Santa Fe and I’m going.

The term memorial is a strange one. No one who has met Nan even once could ever forget her so this will no doubt  be a celebration of her life rather than a memorial.

Anyway I’m booking flights and a hotel.

I was expecting to fly there by myself when I got a very warm and welcoming offer from David yesterday.

A list of his flights with the following message.

“The above is provided only for your information, and should not be regarded as a solicitation for you to book passage on these flights. I am completely indifferent, but should you choose to do so I will be pleased to provide transportation to and from LGA.

D”

I ran over to his house to book my flights and he was on the phone with American Airlines confirming his travel. I asked him to do mine too.

Since he has mileage up the ass we are actually traveling on the same plane with me in coach and him in first class. When he told me that he would throw me a croissant I insisted on speaking to the airline guy. I begged him to upgrade me. I explained that I had been dumped by my husband, I was a senior citizen and that David was not a nice person.

I had to make my plea in the kitchen because David, Mr. Mature, kept making howling sounds from the couch.

Anyway my pleas fell on deaf ears. The guy did offer to put David in coach with me but you can imagine how that was greeted.

Next we discussed the hotel. At Liz and her dad’s  suggestion, I had made a reservation at a hotel near their house.

David told me that that was a bad idea. He said that if I stay in town, I would be closer to shops etc. and if I wanted to come to the house he would pick me up.

I did mention that I didn’t want to be intrusive and make Liz feel that she had to take care of me. You almost had to peel David off the floor when I said that. He can be very cruel.

Anyway I thought he might be right so I booked a town hotel. I will cancel the other reservation today.

Only as I was falling asleep last night did I recognize that depending on David’s willingness to pick me up and bring me to the house might be a mistake.

There’s a good chance I won’t see Liz at all.

Yesterday was the first day Susan was alone after Allan went to Hong Kong so we spent one of our great days together. We really didn’t do much but that doesn’t matter because we always have so much fun together.

Sue was particularly glad to see me  because Al had gotten on the plane with the only key to their car. Even the act of arranging for a new key added to our day. We truly don’t care what we do. It’s still all good.

Did I mention that I heard from Captain Hugh the other day?

The caller ID showed Bahamas so I knew it was him but I wondered why he was calling.

Although he stretches the concept of holidays, He never calls just to call. It wasn’t even Flag Day so why was he calling?

I picked up the phone and gave my usual “How ya doing Captain?”

“Tomorrow’s my 80th birthday”

It’s funny I’ve always wondered how old he was. He seemed ageless.

After chatting awhile, I sent him some money and wished him many more good years.

He’s one of the people that has added only good to my  life.

I’m much better today.

I went to the dentist yesterday. If it weren’t for them always wanting to look at my teeth I wouldn’t mind going there at all.

As you know I double love Jody, the woman who cleans my teeth.

It wasn’t like our usual meeting though. Generally she is kind and encouraging. Yesterday she was forced to yell at me. I was in a lousy mood and I told her pretty much what I wrote yesterday in my blog about feeling like I’ll never be free of dave because I’m still the one with all the knowledge about our stuff, money and otherwise.

Frankly I expected an “Oh you poor thing” from her but that isn’t what I got.

She said she’s starting to get mad at me because I should think more of myself. She asked if I’m trying to hold on to part of dave by taking care of him. She said it’s up to me to set the boundaries and stick to them.

When I got home I really gave that some thought. I think I would be glad if I never heard from dave again but when I do and he needs help I respond the way I always have.

But Jody did make an impression on me. I emailed dave and told him to go to the Citibank in Japan, do as much as he can himself and let me know what information he needs after he does his part.

Baby steps.

Also yesterday since I was feeling very fragile I once again wouldn’t let my sweet dentist take a full set of X-rays. He’s been trying to do this for the past year and my explanation for not doing it, that I don’t want to know if there’s anything bad in there just doesn’t make sense to him.

He tried his usual nonsensical statement of “Wouldn’t you want to know so we can fix it before it gets too bad?” but that didn’t work so he brought out the big guns.

“One of the ways to find tumors in your gums is through X-rays “.

That’s all I hadda hear. You say “tumor” I say “adios”

He did give me my usual kiss on the lips though so l was able to leave happy and still  relatively ignorant about whatever is going on in my mouth.

This is a scary time.

All kind of decisions have to be made.

I have financial stuff to think about. I have professional stuff to think about. I have emotional stuff to think about. That’s what I miss most about being married. When you don’t feel like thinking you can have someone else think for you.

dave and I had a deal that I really miss. If either of us had to make a phone call that gave us the willies we could ask the other one to do it.

There were some rules. We couldn’t ask it out of laziness. It had to be real willies.

Since I’m scared all the time he had to do it for me much more frequently than I had to do it for him but he needed it sometimes too. And when he needed it, he really needed it.

For example he just asked me to find out how he can get a home equity loan.

I gave him the first snotty answer to one of his requests in a long time.

I said “Why don’t you ask your new woman to do it for you?”

His answer “Yeah right”

Why doesn’t he ask all the people he’s in touch with instead of me for help?

Anyway I’m going to help him if I can. (Shut up everyone)

I have a dentist appointment today so as usual I’m jittery. I never like anyone looking at me closely because I’m sure they’ll find something terminal.

I also have to call my lawyer.

I wish dave was here so he could call for me.

Sorry I haven’t been in touch.

Family emergency that I’m only now recovering from.

Anyway back to life as I know it.

Liz and David were having dinner last night. Chinese food in case you’re interested.

It was pretty late and I had already eaten but since I was returning Rupert to them I was invited to share a glass of wine while they ate.

I think David invited me. My hearing isn’t what it once was but he either said  “Join us for a drink” or “What’s she doing here?”. They sound so much alike.

Anyway I asked Liz what day she’s leaving to visit her father.

“Sunday”

David looked up from his spicy dumplings and said “You’re going Sunday? How come Mattie knows before I do?”

“I don’t know. We were just talking and it came up.”

I interjected “By the way, Liz, David wants to have sex tonight”.

I’ve been taking a lot of heat for “picking on a little girl”.

In my defense the kid is almost 9 which happens to be the wiliest of ages. They put on that sweet little smile but deep inside there’s a bunch of devious crap going on.

And you will note she never did give any kind of rebuttal and even if she did she wouldn’t know the truth if it bit her in the ass.

Why just the other day she told me that there’s no such thing as the tooth fairy. Like those dimes just “appeared” under my pillow all those years ago.

But I happen to love her so we’ll put this little “conflict” aside and I’ll go back to kissing her until she shoves me away.

I spent a wonderful day with Susan yesterday.

At lunch she was telling me that Allan, her husband, is doing a tour of Hong Kong with BJ Thomas and Gary US Bonds.

She was saying that although she’d normally worry about him flying so far etc, the thought of what happened with me and dave brought a whole new item to the table.

“What if he has sex with some girl in Hong Kong?  And I know him. He’d justify it by saying that I wouldn’t care as long as he leaves me alone”

My experience has made me into a different person. My response was,

“Who cares as long as he doesn’t tell you about it. And as long as he uses protection so he doesn’t catch anything”

Then after thinking a minute I added ” And though I have no way of knowing for sure I’m guessing that even if he does catch something there’s no way you’ll get it unless he pees in your soup so you’re good”

Today will be one of my perfect days. I’m going to Brooklyn to play with Susan.

These days never fail to be great. We drive around and do whatever either of us wants to do. We almost always have lunch in the best greek restaurant we know.

These Brooklyn outings are totally stress free and fun. We have a long friendship and we’ve had some disagreements but never on our Brooklyn outings.

That isn’t always the case on all my jaunts. For example my lovely day with Violet ended with me calling her a little liar and her throwing the insult right back at me in spades.

We were in FAO Schwartz “just to look” while Julie was getting her hair done.

First we picked up her birthday present, some ghoul doll, then we just walked around.

Two teeny bopper sales girls called us over and offered to polish and draw on Violet’s nails with the once in  a lifetime sale of a set of nail polishes reduced from $49.95 to $29.95.

They did it and Violet liked it.

I told her to tell her mother and I’m sure she’d get it for her. I had already sprung for that creepy doll and I had no intention of upping the ante. (Thanks dave for making me too poor to buy a kid’s love)

We left the store and were about 3 blocks away when Violet stopped dead in her tracks and spoke with quivering lips, ” I should have taken the offer those girls were making”

It took me a minute to figure out what she meant but when I did I said “Let’s go back and get it”

Violet immediately turned around and double timed it back to FAO. The kid takes a cab to the bathroom but this walk she was happy to do.

When we get back to the display they have 3 set choices. Here’s where the seeds to the later conflict were laid.

Box 1 = all irridescent

Box 2 = All plain but brighter colors

Box 3 = half and half

I suggested twice that she take the plain box because the colors were sharper but she chose  Box 3.

They also said that if you buy 2 boxes you get this overlay wand that puts sparkles on the nails free.

Even though I said it was bullshit Violet reeeeally wanted that wand.

I turned to the girl and asked the price of the wand. She said it’s free. “With one box?” The girl said “yes”.

Violet later tarnished my image by telling her mother that the only reason we got the wand free was because I said a dirty word and scared the sales girl.

Now though I admit that “bullshit” is seldom heard in FAO Schwartz, it is by no means a real dirty word like, well, you know. And though the teen did appear a bit shaky when I asked the question about the wand I’m sure she wouldn’t go against the FAO rules just to protect herself from a little bitch slap.

Anyway we get to my house and Violet is looking at the back of the nail  polish box when her lip starts quivering again.

“What’s up now?”

“I don’t like these colors. I should have gotten the plain box (# 2). You shouldn’t have made me get this box.”

“What ? I told you to get the plain box. You insisted on this box”

“I did not. I only took this box to make you happy”

We were hurling the word “liar ” back and forth when her mother came to pick her up.

As the mature one who has always been a guiding light to both the daughter and her mother I told Julie that her kid’s pants were on fire.

On the way out, incidentally to exchange the polish, I heard Violet say to Julie, “Mom, you know that if I say something and Aunt Mattie says something else that she’s the one who’s lying”

I don’t know for sure but my guess is that my sweet Julie threw me under the bus.

The weekend is before me.

Miss Liz, David and Rupert are going to the Hamptons.

What to do? What to do?

Today’s pretty busy. I have to try and amuse Violet while Julie has her hair done. I find that any joke with the word  poop in it works wonderfully well. Violet is nothing if not a purist.

Then I’m thinking of going though my apartment and throwing away anything that I don’t need. Wires from long dead electronics come to mind plus  solidified spices, empty boxes, cold pill bottles with one pill in them, wedding albums. You know, stuff I don’t need.

Remember I spoke about the boring conversation I overheard the other day. When something is perfect I truly admire it no matter what it is.

Yesterday my niece forwarded a letter to me from someone she works on a committee with. I won’t tell you which niece but and because it’s the one I’m afraid of.

The letter was criticizing Steph, er I mean Jane Doe for being unkind to her at a meeting and calling her names. The letter continued on insulting and and threatening Jane. Excluding the errors in grammar and spelling it was still almost a perfect letter in it’s stupidity.

It brought to mind a letter that I’ve kept on my bulletin board above my desk since 4/19/91. I’ve always considered it a beautiful painting where you see something new each time you read it.

It was from Bill, the male receptionist that worked for dave’s copyist and man of all talents Emile Charlap. Emile has what has always been known as a one stop music office. He makes arrangers, producers and copyists welcome so that when they get work Emile can get done for them whatever needs doing.  For many years any big time music jobs went through Emile’s office.

I called the office . I was in a real state because while walking our dogs my sister fell down and broke her leg. This right after she had completed chemotherapy. I wanted to talk to dave but this guy Bill kept joking and not putting dave on no matter how much I insisted.

A few days later I got the following letter. IN ALL CAPS.

DEAR MATTIE:

OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS OF WORKING IN EMILE’S OFFICE I HAVE TAKEN ENDLESS MESSAGES, WROTE LETTERS, TAKEN FAXES, CALLED MESSENGERS AND DONE MANY MANY OTHER FAVORS FOR DAVE. 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 THESE FAVORS HAVE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH BUSINESS RELATED TO EMILE’S OFFICE.  BUT I DON’T MIND IN THE LEAST DOING THESE FAVORS FOR DAVE. IN FACT I FIND IT EXCITING & REWARDING (HOWEVER MUNDANE THE CHORES) TO BE INVOLVED IN HELPING A MUSICIAN THE CALIBER OF DAVE.  I FIND HIS TALENT AMAZING IN ITS DEPTH , SCOPE & VARIETY.

ALSO OVER THE PAST 2 YEARS THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A CROSS WORD BETWEEN DAVE & MYSELF OR YOU & MYSELF. OUR RELATIONS HAVE  BEEN NOTHING BUT CORDIAL AND JOVIAL. NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS SHOCKED, SURPRISED, & DEEPLY HURT WHEN YOU CALLED ME AN “INCREDIBLE ASSHOLE”.  IF THERE IS SOMETHING YOU WANT CHANGED IN THE STYLE OR SUBSTANCE OF THE WAY I EXECUTE THESE ENDLESS FAVORS I DO FOR YOU OR DAVE YOU CAN  JUST COMMUNICATE IT IN A FRANK NON-INSULTING MANNER. I WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO ACCOMMODATE YOUR WISHES TO THE VERY BEST OF MY ABILITY.

I AM WILLING TO FORGIVE & FORGET THIS UNPLEASANT INCIDENT ALTHOUGH AN APOLOGY FROM YOU WOULD NOT BE REJECTED OR INAPPROPRIATE. I TRUST THIS WAS JUST AN ISOLATED DISCORD IN AN OTHERWISE HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIP.

YOURS TRULY,

Needless to say, this letter is not one of the things I’m going to throw away. It still sings.

Miss Liz and Rupert are back. All is right with the world.

Last night David came home too so for the first time in eons we shared the morning together.

I happened to mention that looking at my blog map I noticed that Canada is bigger than the United States. There is nothing David loves more than me saying something stupid.

He went on this giant rant about how every first grader knows this and how we should be importing more oil from Canada but because of Obama we are taking it from the arabs. (I think he called them something else but this time it was in a whisper because Liz was ironing a shirt right near him. His slurs had the words “jockey” and “towel” in them)

“I bet you don’t have any idea how much oil we import from the arabs”

He was prepared for me to look at him blankly so he could go on some  kind of tirade about how uninformed I am and then he could proceed to spew out everything he knows on the subject but I surprised him.

“Yes I do.”

He was momentarily speechless, something that doesn’t happen often. Then he said “You do not. Go ahead tell me about it.”

“We get 1% from the arabs, 40% from Canada, 6% from Ohio, and just a bit from Miami”

He was still sputtering when Liz told him to get off the couch. She had to smooth out the cushions because they were having some French people over for drinks.

He got up and went to the other chair. As soon as Liz fixed the couch Rupert immediately jumped up on it. David looked at Liz to see if she’d tell Rupe to get off but she kept ironing.

“How come I have to get off the couch and that fucking dog can lie all over  it?”

He said this in a very soft whisper. He certainly wouldn’t want Lizzie to hear him.